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The inevitable….(How I deal with it) My views…..

March 21st, 2015 · No Comments


This is a long article people, take what you can use and leave the rest…..

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening…I woke this morning with words pounding in my mind. Well the good thing is, I was able to sleep until 6:30am and came here and read the words of others before settling in to write this message. You see it wasn’t one I had to quickly pen to make sure I didn’t forget the words as this is the way I believe, the way I live my life knowing. The message this morning is about the inevitable that will touch each and every one of us.

You know the topic and that is “death”…My my, how this can take us into the field of sorrow, lead us to a place sometimes of no return, pull our foundation out from under us, send us flying into the realm of darkness. Something that each and every one of us will face at some point in this life, some of us allow it to destroy us.

I have a friend that has to be hospitalized several times now due to not being able to come to grips with the loss of someone very close to her. She still sits and cries uncontrollably and needs to be medicated. I have someone extremely close to me who is consumed with sorrow, she lives everyday in the midst of darkness, swallowing up pain and her mental capacity has diminished while her physical body is literally breaking down. These are the situations, I call worse than death. The ruination of body and soul all due to something we as humans can not change.

You really need to see it for what it is and learn to accept that realization. I’m very fortunate, my Blessings came at a very young age. I was Blessed to have an extremely spiritual Grandmother and Grandfather…I learned so much about death as a young child. My family did not hide it from me, I went to the wakes and funerals, I learned to celebrate the lives of people. I saw them pick up their glasses of rum and whisky, and toast the person laying in the room of our homes. I listened to them sing Gospel songs and heard all the words of love expressed. I visited and played around their bodies as if they were still there and I knew then, that they were there only in another form…yes the form of spirit and that what was laying in the coffin was no longer them, it was their shell. I knew that very well in my youth. I’m thanking my family now for allowing me to see. Truly a Blessing was given me.

I remember my Aunt Tinsie…”that’s not her real name, it’s a nickname” for some reason back home, everyone had nicknames…Roy was Chuppie, Marie was googs, my Uncle Sid called me Melou…Hmmm memories eh…she took me into the room where one of my special people lay, the very first time I saw a dead body. She placed her hand on his forehead and then picked up his hand and smiled at me. She said, Mellie it’s limber, look, come and feel…I smiled back at her and reached up and touched his hand. She left me there in the room and I continually stared and talked to that person, I knew his spirit could hear me. I had no fear, I stayed there awhile and then went to play with the other kids, we kept going in and out of that room where one of my best male role models laid. This man still touches me greatly even today, he never leaves me. I love him with all my heart…Leonard Grinage…I remember one of the adults crying and I asked why are you crying, he’s still here I told them and that person hugged me.

Death is a beautiful thing, it takes all the pain away. It allows us to begin a new journey, the journey of eternal life. A life in spirit and that new realm of life is not one in which we ought to feel sorrow for…no that is the life in which we rejoice. While we are celebrating the life or our loved one who is leaving us, we are also rejoicing their new rebirth back into the spirit world. You see, I believe we had a prelife…

Now listen…I can’t get up, pick up the phone and call my Uncle Roy, I can’t sit and listen to the soothing words of my Aunt Mar, I can no longer stand and comb my Aunt Wins hair. I can’t run to Aunt Kay and ask her to help me nor can I write letters to my other Aunt Kay, I can’t quickly get in my car and run to have an early coffee with my friend Ila before work. No I can’t wait for Aleane to come and visit, I won’t be able to hug my little Jullian who died far too young. There will be no more walks or long conversations with my husband Richard and I won’t see the spirit come forth in some of my sisters at church, who have left us. I won’t be going to Karaoke with Richard Morris or listen to him sing the Blues. I’ll never see the face of my 17 year old cousin, oh my, the bellowing laughter of my Uncle Ben is no more and the stories told by my friend Orunamamu, I won’t hear from her. I do miss all of these people and more and most have left me in the last three years. Yes there’s more, my beautiful Anne, a loyal worker and freind, my Bill from head office who always stood by me, My Dylan, my good friends son, also died way too soon. The loss I’ve had in the last three years is so unbelievable and I can still go on and on.

I’m laughing now…someone told me, you need to go to grief counseling. I told them… why? I could counsel them but they might think I’m crazy. Are you sitting down, if not, grab a seat. All of the people I mentioned above, yes they are gone in the flesh but at any given moment, I can call on them and bring them to me in spirit, I’ll close my eyes and see their image. My body relaxes and a warmth comes over me, I take deep breaths and sit comfortably on my couch. If I’m in bed, I pull the covers over me and fall into a deep and beautiful sleep. After my partner Richard passed, every night I called him and every night he came to me and wrapped his arms around me and I fell to sleep. I did that for a long time and then promised him to let him go so he can do what he needs to do. Once in awhile I call on these people to come to me and they never disappoint. Spirit is a wonderful place to be. Sometime, they come to you and seek your attention and have ways of coming forth.

You will never as some say get over death and why should you. You merely need to welcome it and know more about it. Before my good friend Sue passed on, I asked her this question in the hospital. Sue if you can come and visit me, will you come to me…Oh my goodness, she gave me the most precious smile and assured me she would come to me. I believe she would but did not expect it would be so blatant, so powerful, so emotional. She came to me on the day of her celebration of life and used me to give her husband a hug good-bye. It was an amazing situation, I really believe the time froze. I walked down the aisle to speak to her husband, telling him we need to get started as we were waiting for one more person who had called ahead. I told him when the clock strikes the quarter hour, we will begin. At that moment, I felt a warmth that took me back and I leaned back a bit and and exclaimed, wouuuu! Ray looked at me and asked, are you alright, I immediately answered, Sue is here, she’s here with us and he stared at me. I felt this warmth come from the bottom of my feet, travel to the top of my head, I was immersed in this warmth and I began to cry, shaking and Ray put his arms around me and held me so close, I settled in his arms for a moment and then broke away and he looked at me and said, are you ok. I assured him I was. I then began to walk up the aisle to begin the service. I felt as if I was walking on a cloud, my feet didn’t seem to touch the ground. I stood at the front, looked toward the family and Ray again whispering, are you ok. I walked to the end of their row and began to jump and yell…it’s a celebration…it’s a celebration…repeat after me…it’s a celbration.

Everybody called out…it’s a celebration. I realized at that moment that I was in control of nothing and Sue was taking care doing what she wanted done at her celebration of life. I was simply the vessel in all of this. Death my friends is amazing, what comes after the initial passing is a continual Blessing and anyone who is taken into this by the deceased must consider themselves very special. I’m not getting into any discussion with anyone, no Pastors, Priests or any Men of the cloth. It is what it is and I know what I experience.

Whenever the spirit takes me, I feel special, I smile as I’m smiling now. You never know when it will happen. It happened to me while driving, I do not remember getting to point B and it was across the city. I remember talking to God and the next thing I remember was opening the car door at my destination. I’ve seen the spirit take over my sisters in Christ. My sister Vi, jumps up and kicks her leg while praying, I was in awe and I knew the spirit had her in its grips, praise God for that.

We have not lost these people, they are with us, trying to communicate with us but often we don’t understand the signs. At times it can be as simple as a shadow in the corner of our eye, a brush of wind on our faces, a feeling that seems to go through you, an object that is moved though you know exactly where you placed it, a feeling of cool or warm air, a voice you believe you heard. A little child staring and smiling into space, a pet who acts silly while gazing at nothing, a tap on the shoulder only to turn and see no one. Acting silly and you don’t know why, one of your hands shaking profusely for no reason as happened to me not long ago and the new one for me was the coming of pain in my stomach while awaiting a passing, O let me not forget my early gift, the scent of a beautiful garden. Usually I receive this gift prior to a passing and it can be as long as two weeks prior. I received the gift at age eleven and it was explained to me by my Grandmother. I still have it today and praise and thank God for it.

There’s no need to deny these things, it’s a loved one trying to let you know they’re ok. Listen, how selfish can we be, we’ve had most of these people for many,many years, some of them have contributed much to this life and have helped people is so many ways…The body becomes old and tired and needs to go to rest, the shell is finished and the spirit takes over. If we can accept that, we will know then that we do not die, our flesh body is separated from our spiritual body. This is not rock science, it’s logical, we can not just die…we become a part of this mass universe and live on people.

I’m laughing again…you hear so many people, go on and on about the life thereafter. We know, O yes we know how great it is on the other side but the same people will go far trying to cling on to this life on earth. Look around you, look at the devastation, look at the poverty, look at the evil, look at the homeless, look at the pain. Well let me tell you this, when someone dies, I’m saying hallelujah…good for you, you’ve made it through and I will celebrate. I will miss them and I may cry but at the same time, I’m relieved that they are no longer suffering. If you truly believe we go to a better place, a place of solace and extreme peace, then sorrow is not necessary. Missing them… a little crying… a time for grieving is natural…be happy for them, rejoice. Let them go in peace and you move on doing what needs to be done until your turn comes to close that curtain. We’re all going down that road, it’s just a matter of time.

What we do have to remember is this…Life is for the living and we must let the earth body of our loved ones go and learn how to enjoy them in spirit and that is through memory, through our stored images and through thought and if and when a message comes through, don’t deny it, embrace it…..

Praise God and our precious Jesus…Amen (Melvina)

Tags: Spirituality

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